Skip to content

Archive for

Death by DéCaff, the Anti Bærekraft Empire Strikes Back

June 11th, 2018


It is a dark time for the Bærekraft Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Anti Bærekraft Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters among them Lillar Starkillar has established a new secret base in the remote ice age city of Oslo.

The evil lord DéCaff Vader, obsessed with finding young Starkillar, has dispatched thousands of remote drones into the far reaches of space….

The camera pans down to an Anti Bærekraft Empire ship that is sending out drones, one of them landing near snowed down Bislett Stadion in the ice age city of Oslo.

Out in the Ice Age Former City of Oslo.

Lillar Starkillar, flying in her Huyndai, sees the drone land. Pissed off and wanting to blow up the drone, she lands and gets out of her Hyundai. Lillar Starkillar calls Bærekraft Base on the radio, while stalking like a cat through the snow.

–Base this is Starkillar, over.
–Starkillar this is Base, no need to shout. Over.
–Is that you SoloStrand? I am calling in a possible drone sighting, I bet it belongs to those assholes at Anti Bærekraft Command. So I am gonna do a «Sneak Up & Blow Up» over and out! Shouts Lillar sounding even more pissed off.
–Keep your voice DOWN Starkillar, what if you scare an ice bear? Says Marte SoloStrand shaking her head.

Lillar Starkillar hangs up right before being attacked by an ice bear.

Back at the Bærekraft Base

Inside the Millennium Falcon Marte SoloStrand is doing last minute repairs to leave because there is a bounty on her head. A young lady from Team NU is working on the hyperdrive of the Millennium Falcon with R2–D2’s newly designed spare parts made with cutting edge secret technology. After learning that Lillar Starkillar hasn’t returned, Marte Solo takes a FlyHyundai out into the encroaching darkness to find her.

Out in the Snow

Lillar Starkillar is dragged by the angry ice bear, frees herself and pulls out her light saber. Screams at the Ice bear:
–You dragging me around like a piece of meat?! I’ll show you some REAL pain!

She runs to her Hyundai, jumps in and starts it. The ice bear pounces crushing the engine, then gently picks up the black radio with white teeth and slowly chrushes it. The ice bear’s eyes saying “In Your Face!”.

–Yoooouuu BITCH! You will die for that! No! Nonono. Ok. Breeeeath… Must not get distracted by anger. Focus. Feel the flow. Says Lillar Starkillar and gets into Flow. She gets an idea and pushes the «Open Back Door» button, to trick the ice bear into her Hyundai.

bærekraft Huyndai and ice bear fight

–You hungry? Coooome here you dirty big ball of fur. Says Lillar Starkillar.

The ice bear climbs in. Lillar pushes the «Close Backdoor Button», jumps out and slams her door.
–That will keep you occupied for an hour or two you big rat!

Lillar Starkillar gives the ice bear the finger, kicks the Huyndai and starts walking towards the faraway mountain base.

–Just as with that ice bear I will need to fight the distraction of my anger and instead ally myself with the Flow if I am to outsmart DéCaff Vader and help my friends avoid being captured by the Anti Bærekraft Empire. Or we will be forced to serve as slaves, but first I must survive a windy winter night out in the open.

A Blue Night in the Snow

Lillar Starkillar wanders in the evening blue blizzard, muttering to herself in half delirium:
–How can we outrun the Emperial AT–ATs with the cold limiting the range of our battery powered vehicles? AND every year the winters are getting a little colder, these climate changes are getting worse and maybe they are irreversible? The Anti Bærekraft Empire will win in the long run. We must outsmart them soon, but how? Maybe it’s too late…

Falling face down in the snow, she lies still and then turns her head to the side gently blowing away some snow.
–Ah, no wind down here. And soooo soft. I’ll stay, just til the count of 10




This was part 1 of 5

Death by DéCaff
The Anti Bærekraft Empire Strikes Back

Click the links for the other parts.

Vask / Faucet