April 16th, 2012
You get a lunch from me, I expect to get something later. When I say lunch I really mean that I help you solve a problem. Now to you. What should you say before you help people to motivate them to help you?
Why does your brain want to help me when I have helped you?
During the last thousands of years, have our brains gotten themselves used to giving and receiving help in small groups. Survival for you and especially your offspring was the result. Failing to obey the rules of givers gain could ultimately lead to ostracization and death by hunger. Your brain produces belønnings chemicals when you help. If you help me after I help you the amount of chemicals is larger. By helping you I increase your joy of helping me. :-)
The Method in Two Steps:
- Step two is to help people.
- Step one is to prepare what you tell people before you help them.
This is what I say, with a tone that leaves no dubt that I help because I really want to help you: “I help you now, and hope you will be willing to help me later.” If you feel this is to direct for you, get in touch and I will help you create a sentence you can feel comfortable with.
I like to be open about what I want to achieve. Many of the people I help appreciates this honesty. Others politely decline my offer about help. The decliners are few and there have never been hard feelings when they do.
Tasks of the Day:
- Write the sentence that you plan to tell people before you help them.
- Practice in front of the mirror.
- Extra task. To find out what people need help for, read this blogpost.